Oh Hello Again!

It's been over a year since my last post.  The heartache of letting go of Jolene was painful to say the least.  There have been lots of ups since then, but the struggle of moving, renovating a home, becoming a stay at home mom and the learning curve that came with that along with the ever expanding curiosity and energy of our son was ... A LOT. He learned to walk within a month of living in this not so baby/toddler proofed construction zone home.   So I put some things on hold, like this little corner of mine.  We have, however, finally settled into a groove.  Our baby is now a full fledged toddler that is potty trained, asked tons of questions about what things are called, and requests our Google Home speaker to play his favorite songs (Twinkle, Twinkle; I Got You Babe; You Are My Sunshine; All You Need Is Love).  Our home is still as always a work in progress - adding a fence soon to our front yard, and more details on the changes we made in the last year to come.  Jack finally had no more sleep regressions or struggled with teething.  In fact, he met so many milestones early I had to learn to keep up! We had the places we visited (pre-Covid) and had signed up him for preschool.  And then we found out, we're adding to our brood once again.  And then the pandemic happened. 

Our new baby announcement was made and people have known via social media for several months now.  But the pandemic has made this pregnancy feel very different.  Also chasing a tot while pregnant has also made it very different.  There is always less and less time to devote to ourselves.  We're only a few weeks away of meeting our daughter and who knows how in the world our lives our going to change. We'll have to find our new balance once again!

I’ve been feeling some MAJOR mom guilt lately when it comes to this boy. Before baby girl arrives, he and I have been like PB&J.  I've struggled big-time being away from him in the past and I crave him all the time (umm first time mom syndrome?) I try to remind myself frequently “the only thing consistent about life is that it’s never consistent.” Anyone else have a hard time accepting this? So I’ve been working hard on just cherishing the joyful little moments right now...his hilarious commentary, sweet hugs and coy side glances when he wants a cookie or ice cream, genuine excitement when I come home from running an errand, mispronunciation of words, chase games around the staircase and table, his big belly laughs when his dad picks him up and throws him in the air ... and just remind myself each stage is fleeting, because life will continue to stay constant in one way only— it never stays the same.  ​